I recently read an article titled The biggest mistakes people make when choosing a life partner. I think that the author is most likely wrong. Relationships only go wrong when people are looking for the wrong things in a relationship.
Secret number one
As a man, what are you looking for in a woman?
If you are not lying, and you are like most men, you will have to admit that in the first place you are looking for sex. You want a regular supply of it. The hormones of a man rage much stronger than the ones of a woman. We must have sex. Badly. Only women can supply that product. So, we need at least one woman.
A man may be looking for other things too, such as pleasant company, someone who will cook for him and take care of the house. Some men may even want children, and not just as a welcome side effect of having sex. These things are nice to have, but if the main goal has not been achieved — getting sex — they do not matter.
As a woman, what are you looking for in a man?
Unless you were born in a rich family, and unless you have yourself a career that pays a lot of money, you want someone to support you. So, you want money.
A woman may be looking for other things too, such as affection, love, someone to count on, and so on. These things are nice to have, but if the main goal has not been achieved — getting money — they do not matter.
You may think that only prostitution is sex for money? No. Marriage is also sex for money. It seems to be the essential trade binding a man to a woman. Some people seem to be believe that the essential element would be love. A man loves a woman and that woman loves that man. The problem is that love comes and love goes. When the love is (temporarily) gone, it is the sex for money trade that keeps the relationship going. Love is essentially and naturally ephemeral. It is irrational to base any decision on it. If you seek to answer the questions who exactly you should be marrying, or whether you should stay in a marriage, in love, you will make all the wrong decisions. It does not matter if you love someone today, as opposed to yesterday or tomorrow, as long as you are getting what you really want out of the deal.
As I said before, some men are not looking for sex and some women are not looking for money. Unless their alternative motivations are equally reliable as sex or money, you should be wary of that kind of people. It may again be ephemeral motivations that will arbitrarily disappear some day, and leave you stranded with the other half of a broken marriage.
Issues of morality
With men and women primarily trading sex for money some people, especially in western countries, may object on moral grounds. Those moral objects are badly flawed. Morality has to be documented and shared between lots of people. Otherwise, it does not work. If everybody believe something else, such rules cannot be applied to regulate transactions and deals between different individuals. Marriage and even uncommitted sex, requires rules shared between the two individuals engaging in it.
Only religious morality is immutably documented and widely shared. Therefore, all morality exclusively emanates from the laws of God, if only because self-invented morality is exponentially incompatible and therefore entirely ineffective.
There are probably other references in other scriptures saying the same. The following is from the Koran:
Qur’an (4:34): Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property for the support of women.
In this verse, men are described to spend for the support of women. It therefore supports the view that man acquire sex by exchanging it for money. My point of view is that the laws of God cannot be questioned and that the sex for money trade is the fundamental arrangement organizing the man-woman relationship. Marriage is therefore an employment contract of sexual nature.
Secret number two
Should you randomly pick a sexual partner or a spouse? No. You do not randomly pick an employee either. A highly effective way of ending up with who you want, is to define a profile of what person you want and to pay a recruiter to locate this kind of candidates.
A recruiter can be a highly effective tool. He may talk with 7 prospects to get 5 candidates interested or he may talk with 700 prospects to find 5 candidates. It does not matter. You will always end up with 5 candidates sitting in front of you, interested in being the person you were looking for. It may just cost you a bit more in recruitment fees (but who cares?). Therefore, you will always find candidates satisfying a feasible profile. It is just a question of money. The main advantage is that you will never get to see the girls who are not interested in you. Nobody likes to hear a girl saying no.
Even a one-legged person with a hump will end up with a twin model of Claudia Shiffer, if that is what he wants. It is just that in that case the recruitment expenses will be enormous, and that it will take time. For the average man, however, it costs peanuts and only takes days to line up a sufficient number of candidates.
Second advantage: Girls are much more interested when a recruiter approaches them. They will have a inclination of saying ‘yes, I am interested’. When you approach that very same person by yourself, she will most likely knee-jerk into an annoying ‘no’. You see, girls get approached all the time with sexual proposals and they are trained from a very young age to deflect that kind of attention. When they get approached by a recruiter, it sounds more like an interesting opportunity than receiving the wrong kind of attention.
Secret number three
If the girl has her own serious source of income, she simply does not need your money. Therefore, the sex-for-money deal will generally not function. You will still need her for sex, but she does not need you for anything serious. She will only need you for unimportant, emphemeral trinkets that other men can easily and are generally willing to provide too. These other men would not pay for her. They would not seriously part with their money, but they would certainly tell her affectively that they love her. She may very well run off with a man who is better at telling her bullshit in order to extract sex from her than you are. In other words, it is probably not a good deal.
Secret number four
In some countries, marriage simply does not work. If the girl decides to put an end to the deal, you would no longer receive sex (and other services) but you would still have to pay. Instead of sex for money, it will become nothing for money. If you live in that kind of countries, you would have to move to another country first. You will have to pick a country where marriage is governed by religion and not by democratic depravity overruling the laws of religion. In a country where marriage is governed by religion, the government would never try to to turn a sex for money deal into a nothing for money one, because doing so is forbidden by the laws of God.
Under otherwise reasonable conditions, there is nothing hard in getting your own copy of Claudia Schiffer to live in the house. It just costs money.